#ProjectPurseDump - Week 11 - Confessions of a Pen Thief by Paula Tiberius (@ptiberius) - #WritersLife

Today, I've got a pen thief in the hot seat. Now, as an occasional accidental pen thief myself, I can sympathize with her predicament. However, I would have gone after one of the big banks instead of a a credit union. Without further ado, I present Paula Tiberius.

Confessions of a Pen Thief

by Paula Tiberius

I never used to carry a purse. While my high school, then university compadres mooned over their new Coach bags and fished around for keys for half an hour, I always had cash in my front right pocket, one slim key in my left back pocket, and whatever lipstick I had on when I left the house was good enough for the night.

Now?

  1. My wallet – a freakin’ wallet, people. I’m a grown-up.
  2. Sunscreen. I live in Los Angeles and my husband Richard has had five skin cancers removed so far. This is the only kind that doesn’t feel oily. If you’re reading this, Neutrogena, I am looking for sponsors on my blog.
  3. Rice Krispies treat – this is “for Violet” (my 7 year old daughter) when “she” gets cranky in the car.
  4. Two pens stolen from my credit union, an over-sized My-Pal pencil (because sometimes you just don’t want the finality of a pen), a Sharpie (because sometimes things can’t be indelible enough),one pen from The Pleasure Chest (because I cover sex seminars there for Sexpert.com), and a pen from an Australian hotel – that’s right, I went to Australia. I’m a grown up with a purse.
  5. TWO travel tissue packs, because one would leave me quite insecure.
  6. A GO train receipt from my visit to Toronto in June. It’s now September.
  7. A red button. Thinking, thinking….it’ll come to me.
  8. A metal mesh turtle pendant without a chain. Don’t you have one in your purse?
  9. Migraine meds. I used to leave them at home thinking that it was bad juju to carry headache medicine when you don’t have a headache. But then I kept getting headaches while out in the world with my giant purse that had no medication in it.
  10. A one-time-use-only toothbrush. I know I’m married with a kid, but I might still have a one-night-stand at some point. You never know. Actually I stole it from a spa in Palm Springs last weekend.
  11. Two plastic stencil sheets. I picked them out from a counter full of crap to redeem points at an arcade. My daughter Violet was dead set against them, but I remain certain that she will change her mind. Stencils rock.
  12. A green feather from the boa Violet wore at her rock and roll camp performance this summer. She borrowed it from her father who wears it in our band Fame Whore. Yes, we’re setting an excellent example.
  13. Ear buds. You can’t talk on the phone without them in your car, and I’m always in my car.
  14. Red lip gloss that my friend Tara gave me about six months ago when I was feeling really, really shitty and broke, overworked and underpaid. She told me that it was the “lip gloss of abundance,” which seems to have worked, actually. Now I’m afraid to throw it out even though its fuzzy wand is drying up.
  15. An Always mini-pad. I pay extra for the black box kind because I like to have stylish cardboard in my bathroom cabinet.
  16. A tester tube of double-helix water cream, given to me by a medical intuitive who channels angels. He is awesome and so is this cream. I’m putting it on my C-section scar to see if it helps it disappear.
  17. Matches. I don’t smoke, but my husband does. Also, I used to be a pyromaniac.
  18. A packet of salt. Don’t listen to people who say salt is bad for you. It makes everything better.
  19. Pink and red paper clips tied together in a chain. I grabbed them for a parent teacher board meeting and did not use them.
  20. Orange bauble hair tie. I used to hate this kind when I was a kid. I wonder if Violet hates them too? I should ask her.
  21. Big black hair clip. That’s the shit you want.
  22. A coupon for a free cupcake at Barnes & Noble – now expired.

About Paula Tiberius

Paula Tiberius is an author, blogger, screenwriter, filmmaker, musician and mom living in North Hollywood, California with her husband, daughter, and their German Shepherd. Paula wrote and directed the award-winning feature film Goldirocks which is available on Netflix, distributed by R Squared Films. She is currently writing and recording a kids' album called Be Who You Are with music and spoken word pieces to empower kids. Please read more at www.paulatiberius.com. The Cowboy Singer is her first novel.

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Tara Quan

Globetrotter, lover of languages, and romance author, Tara Quan has an addiction for crafting tales with a pinch of spice and a smidgen of kink. Inspired by her travels, she enjoys tossing her kick-ass heroines and alpha males into exotic contemporary locales, fantasy worlds, and post-apocalyptic futures. Visit Tara at www.taraquan.com

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#ProjectPurseDump - Week 10 - Of Pink and Bling, by @TerriLAustin - #WritersLife

As fictional purses go, I don't think things can get pinker or more shiny--both characteristics I have a weakness for. Without further ado, let us bring author Terri L. Austin's character to the (figurative) stage.

Of Pink and Bling by Terri L. Austin

Hey, everybody! I’m Sugar de la Tarte. As a retro pin up girl and burlesque performer, I keep a few essentials in my bag at all times. I never know when someone might recognize me, so I like to look my best.

Here’s my favorite bag.  Doesn’t this just scream Sugar? Since I love my deep red lips, I wouldn’t be caught dead without a tube of Mac Red.

So what else do I keep in my sweet little cosmetic bag?

My compact, natch.

Who wants to walk around with a shiny nose? Not me, honey.

And of course I can’t leave home without my pasties. Believe me, carrying these around along with my pastie glue has saved my bacon more than once.

Since I got inked—isn’t she lovely—I need to have a tube of sunscreen on hand. I don’t want this beauty to fade.

Last but not least, I carry my phone, but I had to bling out my case. In my world, presentation is everything!

You can catch more of Sugar de la Tarte in Diner Knock Out—a Rose Strickland Mystery by Terri L. Austin at Amazon or Barnes.

About Terri L. Austin

As a girl, I thought I'd outgrow dreaming up stories and creating imaginary friends. Instead, I've made a career of it. I met my own Prince Charming and together we live in Missouri. Follow me on one of the Social Media sites (check out the Follow links on this page) and send me a message. I love to hear from readers.

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Tara Quan

Globetrotter, lover of languages, and romance author, Tara Quan has an addiction for crafting tales with a pinch of spice and a smidgen of kink. Inspired by her travels, she enjoys tossing her kick-ass heroines and alpha males into exotic contemporary locales, fantasy worlds, and post-apocalyptic futures. Visit Tara at www.taraquan.com

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#ProjectPurseDump - Week 9 - Confessions of a Purse Junkie by Linda Joyce (@LJWriter) - #WritersLife

As a fellow purse junkie, I can't help but be curious about what another poor. afflicted soul carries around all day. Given, the point of a purse is not always its function, but rummaging around another person's belongings is intriguing nonetheless. Without further ado...

Confessions of a Purse Junkie

by Linda Joyce

Hello. My name is Linda Joyce, and I’m a purse junkie. I have purses in different shapes and sizes. Purses made of different materials. If there’s a support group for purse junkies like me, one that provides inside tips about the best sales, then sign me up. But don’t think for a minute that I have any intention of kicking this habit.

I do want to clarify. While I am a purse junkie, I’m not a purse snob. I offer you a view of my Jam Bag as supporting evidence. It’s colorful. Has style. Notice the silver grommets and the black handles. And shows off my signature sign—Fleur de Lis. It’s ecofriendly, made from recycled bottles.  

So what do I jam in my jam bag?

  1. Japanese key chain with my key fob, reward cards, and red change purse carrying three, dollar coins inside. 
  2. Hairbrush – this is insurance. I carry it so I’ll never need it.
  3. Turquoise wallet housing credit cards, stamps, miniature diploma from the University of Florida, and a few single dollar bills. It’s also big enough to hold my phone inside when I need to Grab-n-Go.
  4. Leather case hiding an imported German fountain pen.
  5. Pen—one of the first I got for SWAG
  6. Lipstick – PÜR Moonlit Pearl
  7. Business cards- name, address, rank, and no serial number.
  8. Hand wipes from the casino in Biloxi. I came home $60 in the good and put it in the bank.
  9. Kleenex
  10. Mints – SWAG I carry around. Never know when I might meet a new reader.
  11. Notebook—covert operations recorded to be used as secondary characters in a story.
  12. Bookmarks for Her Heart’s Desire. On the flip side, the books in the Fleur de Lis series. 

About Linda Joyce

Linda Joyce is an award-winning contemporary romance author born on Christmas Eve. Her Louisiana family’s roots run deep, and they’re intertwined with her Japanese heritage. Her vagabond childhood afforded her a variety of travel opportunities. Now she lives in Atlanta, Georgia with her husband and their three dogs: General Beauregard, Gentleman Jack, and Masterpiece Renoir.

Linda penned her first manuscript while living in Japan as a U.S. Air Force dependent. Her classmates lined up at recess to read her latest pages. During high school in Florida, a literary magazine published her poetry. In college, she worked on the school’s newspaper as a reporter and learned layout and design.

A graduate of the University of Florida, Linda holds a Bachelor of Science in Management. She worked in corporate America, earned the Senior Claims Law Associate professional designation, and completed Six Sigma Green Belt training.

Linda is a self-professed foodie and has the kitchen of her dreams. She enjoys painting when she can fit it in. She and her husband, Don, love college football. They frequently go RVing, and at last count, they’ve traveled to twenty-one states with “the boys.”

Website | Facebook | Twitter | GoodReads | Amazon Author | Pinterest | Google+

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Tara Quan

Globetrotter, lover of languages, and romance author, Tara Quan has an addiction for crafting tales with a pinch of spice and a smidgen of kink. Inspired by her travels, she enjoys tossing her kick-ass heroines and alpha males into exotic contemporary locales, fantasy worlds, and post-apocalyptic futures. Visit Tara at www.taraquan.com

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