The writing tip I have for you today touches upon one of my biggest pet peeves as a reader. I'll let M.S. Kaye explain why!
(Not) Filtering POV by M.S. Kaye
Point of view can be a tricky thing. I was recently editing a manuscript for a publisher I work with, and the author continually filtered every action through the point of view of the main character. This isn’t wrong necessarily, just not as strong as it could be.
Consider these sentences:
“Sarah saw the man run out into the road.”
“The man ran out into the road.”
If Sarah is established to be the point of view character, there is no need to filter every action through her; the reader already knows he/she is experiencing the things Sarah is. Continuing to filter through the character keeps a wall between the reader and the action, and also makes the writing feel repetitive. Sarah saw… Sarah heard… Sarah smelled…
In almost all cases, it’s better for the story if the reader feels they are experiencing the action as if they are Sarah, not standing off to the side watching Sarah watch the action. And we all know it’s best to cut as many unnecessary words as possible.
Once & Again
by M.S. Kaye
She was once his secret desire… Will she be again?
Father Aiden, an ex-marine and new priest, falls in love with Maylynn, but he struggles to stay away from her. He’s successful for many years, though he can’t keep her out of his dreams.
Then one day she shows up for a pre-marital counselling session with her fiancé, Davis. Aiden soon realizes Davis isn’t who he says he is, but what does that mean for Maylynn, and for himself?
Will be released August 4, 2016 from Inkspell Publishing. Pre-order on Amazon or add to your to-read on Goodreads today!
“You’re studying to be a priest?”
He made himself meet her eyes. “I am a priest.”
She let go of his hand and stepped back.
Her smiled was tight. “I’m glad you found your path.”
He couldn’t quite read her expression. The distance between them felt like a gorge chiseled into the earth.
“Are you all right, Maylynn?” he asked.
“I’m really happy for you.” Then she added, “Father Aiden.”
For some reason, her words stabbed him in the gut. He usually liked when people used his title—it seemed to imply a certain amount of trust.
“I’m sorry, Maylynn.” He wasn’t entirely sure why he was apologizing. He just didn’t like to see her uncomfortable.
“I’m happy for you,” she repeated.
Then he realized what the problem was. He hadn’t anticipated this.
He moved closer. “I’m so sorry.”
Her forced smile finally dropped. “Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”
“It didn’t occur to me…”
“That I might be attracted to you?”
“Why aren’t you wearing your collar?” Anger prickled the edge of her voice.
“My mother’s last wish was that I find my father. I’ve been following her notes. She was convinced he was somewhere in this area.”
“Wait… Your mother’s name was Adalina?”
He nodded. With the number of times the shelter was mentioned in the notes, he figured his mother and Maylynn had met.
Anger flashed in her eyes. “You still should’ve told me.”
“Why’d you play with me like that?”
“I swear that wasn’t my intent.”
“You knew damn well what was going on. Was it a game—see if you still had it? If you could still get the chicks?”
Under the anger in her eyes, he saw the hurt. He swore he could feel it exactly, as if it was his own.
He shifted even closer, just in front of her. “I’m sorry,” he said again. His voice lowered, quieted. “I didn’t see what you were feeling because I was fighting so hard myself. I still am.”
“What I felt the first time I saw you, what I’m still feeling.”
She waited, glaring at him.
“I’m attracted to you,” he said. “Intensely.”
ABOUT M.S. KAYE
M.S. Kaye has several published books under her black belt. A transplant from Ohio, she resides with her husband Corey in Jacksonville, Florida, where she tries not to melt in the sun. Find suspense and the unusual at www.BooksByMSK.com.
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