Wrong Place, Right Time - Dialogue Only (Absolute Write Blog Chain - May 2013)

This post is part of the May 2013 Blog Chain at Absolute Write. This month, the prompt is "Dialogue Only."  As if that weren't difficult enough, there's an additional optional prompt "Wrong Place, Right Time."

By the way, my reaction to this prompt was "oh crap." I'm an erotic romance writer--while my characters do their fair share of talking, they're usually preoccupied with other fun stuff. Therefore, I'm sorely out of practice. 

My solution? I'm going to cheat. This flash fiction continues the story from my March 2013 Blog Chain post, What the Leprechaun Said. You should definitely find out where Nulli and the Leprechaun left off before you forge on to read what will likely be a failed experiment. Enjoy!

"Umm, Leprechaun, I'm pretty sure you've brought us to the wrong place."

"You know, Leprechaun is a species, not a name. Call me Shawn."

"As in C-H-A-U-N?"

"As in S-H-A-W-N. Now why is this the wrong place? You agreed to come to my apartment."

"Your apartment's a dungeon?"

"The decor's a bit macabre, but ‘tis my home."

"Well, ‘tis more than I signed up for. You have iron shackles hanging from the walls. And is that a St. Andrew's cross?"

"Woman—we barely know each other and you're already redecorating. It's a good thing I know we’ll end up living happily ever after."

"You might want to dampen your enthusiasm, Shawn. I don’t think this is going to work.”

“Considering the reading material I found at your place, I think it’ll be just fine.”

“You’ve been to my place?”

“I’m a demigod and can teleport to any location in the world. Of course I checked-up on the person I’m going to spend the rest of my life with.”

“We met less than half an hour ago. No one is spending the rest of their lives with anyone. By the way, aren’t you immortal?”

“My dear Nulli—Once we consummate our relationship you too will live forever.”

“Well then, all bets are off. I don’t want to live forever and most definitely not with you. Do you have any idea how creepy you are?”

“You like creepy. I followed all the key points in your romances—captive scenarios, kinky sex, and a touch of magic. Turning into a wolf is a bit beneath me. They’re dirty flea-ridden creatures.”

“Those books are FICTION. Nothing about what you’ve done so far is at all romantic.”

“I can’t help but bring up the kiss we just shared—“

“That was reflex. You’re a good kisser. It doesn’t change the fact that you’re giving off serial killer vibes”

“Now, now, no need for name calling. I thought all this equipment was a bit over-the-top myself. I just wanted to fulfill your wildest dreams.”

“What the hell just happened?”

“As you asked, I redecorated.”

“You painted everything pink and added fuzz to the shackles. The color scheme wasn’t the problem.”

“No? What was the problem?”

“The entire place. You know what? This is the very definition of wrong-place-wrong-time. You’ve had your shot. It’s over. Take me home.”

“Now, now, don’t get all pissy.”

“Buddy, you haven’t seen me pissy. Pissy is me grabbing that flogging pole over there and hitting you over the head with it.”

“So you like being the Domme? Hmm…that would be a problem.”

“Urghhh….”

“Joking. Just Joking. Leprechauns are the jesters of the supernatural world, or haven’t you heard? I was just having a bit of fun.”

“…”

“The silent treatment doesn’t work on me you know. I have infinite patience.”

“…”

“You’re being childish. Very childish.”

“…”

“And I’m getting annoyed with you. Leprechauns annoy other people, not the other way around.”

“…”

“Please talk to me.”

“…”

“Pretty please with lots of gold on top.”

“Well, in that case ... Is this real?”

"You can take it to the bank tomorrow.”

“What are you up to now?”

“I'm trying to give you a shoulder massage. Be still. Now, should I stop or should I keep going?”

“Umm… that does feel very nice. Why are you doing this?”

“To make up for what clearly was a very bad joke. By the way, you seem a little tense.”

“I wonder why.”

“Me too. If you go sit on the bench over there, I’ll give you a foot rub.”

“Not gonna happen.”

“I give awesome foot rubs, just so you know.”

“And that bench wasn’t made for sitting.”

“You have a point. We can do other stuff on it-- Whoa, there. Got the message loud and clear. Too soon, ehh?”

“That is the understatement of the century”

“You were ready to jump my bones right after we kissed.”

“It was a lapse in judgment.”

“It was a good lapse. You’re thinking about this too hard. You should just feel.”

“If you could focus on the shoulder blades—“

“Like this?”

“Oh yes. That feels like heaven.”

“This is not even close to how I’ll make you feel later. Any chance we can lose the shirt—for purely therapeutic purposes?”

“Nope.”

“Your loss. My fingers are magical you know.”

“I figured.”

“I have other body parts that are also magical. I can make it do all sorts of things.”

“Shawn.”

“What? TMI?”

“In a big way.”

“You’re blushing. Your pulse picked up. I’m making progress.”

“My face is red and my heart’s beating faster because I’m angry. Trust me, we’ve regressed.”

“Liar.”

“I most certainly am not.”

“I can prove it.”

“Oh yeah? How.”

“By doing this.”

“…”

“Took your breath away, didn’t I?”

“You were literally blocking a major airway, so yes.”

“Don’t be stubborn. Admit it. This might be the wrong place. But I’m the right guy, and this is the right time.”

“The jury’s still out on all counts.”

“May be this will move things along.”

“…”

“…”

“All this proves is you’re a good kisser. That’s not exactly news.”

“You have the softest skin. Mind if I bite you?”

“Umm.”

“I’ll take that as a no. Why don’t I get this shirt out of the way?”

“Ohh…”

“…”

“…”

“You know--green is my favorite color. Too bad this pretty lace isn’t going to make it through the night.”

“Shawn…”

“Do you want me to stop?”

“I…ohh…”

“…”

“...”

“Nulli?”

“Yes?”

“I think now’s the right time to discuss these fluffy pink handcuffs.”

Check out this month’s other bloggers, all of whom have posted or will post their own responses:

Participants and posts:
orion_mk3 - http://nonexistentbooks.wordpress.com (link to post)
Ralph Pines - http://ralfast.wordpress.com/ (link to post)
articshark - http://www.drslaten.com/blog (link to post)
Sudo_One - http://sudoone.wordpress.com/ (link to post)
Nissie - http://www.rinchupeco.com/ (link to post)
Angyl78 - http://jelyzabeth.wordpress.com/ (link to post)
Lady Cat - http://randomwriterlythoughts.blogspot.ca/ (link to post)
U2Girl - http://ancatdubh.org/ (link to post)
MsLaylaCakes - http://www.taraquan.com/ (You Are Here)
SuzanneSeese - http://www.viewofsue.blogspot.com/ (link to post)
LanaK - http://lanaketrick.blogspot.com/ (link to post)
in_one - http://quirkythomas.blogspot.com/ (link to post)

Archive of Past Blog Chains

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Tara Quan

Globetrotter, lover of languages, and romance author, Tara Quan has an addiction for crafting tales with a pinch of spice and a smidgen of kink. Inspired by her travels, she enjoys tossing her kick-ass heroines and alpha males into exotic contemporary locales, fantasy worlds, and post-apocalyptic futures. Visit Tara at www.taraquan.com

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