Nulli and the Leprechaun 6 - A Letter to Lucifer - AWBC - Feb 2014

This post is part of the February 2014 Blog Chain at Absolute Write. The rules are simple. There's a prompt. We all run with it. This month's prompt is "Characters Writing About Authors."

To keep things interesting (and to give me an excuse to go completely crazy with this story), I decided a while back to integrate the blog chain with my Nulli and the Leprechaun web series. We're now on the sixth installment. 

While each episode of Nulli and the Leprechaun is self-contained, links to Part 1-5 of the series are below. 
#1 What the Leprechaun Said (AWBC March 2013)                
#2 Wrong Place, Right Time (AWBC May 2013)
#3 Child of the Devil (AWBC August 2013)
#4 Lions, Tigers and Bears–Oh My! (AWBC October 2013)
#5 Sonic and Tails (AWBC February 2014)

Previously, on Nulli and the Leprechaun...

Shawn's smile bared two rows of jagged teeth. “I always thought Tails was the cooler character. After all, all Sonic could do was run really fast. Tails can fly.”

Nulli's brows snapped together. “What did you just say?”

“That Tails is the cooler character?”

“No...after that.” She craned her neck back and stood.  A delighted grin spread over her face. “I think I just discovered our way out.”

And now...

Dear Lucifer (or whoever is pulling the strings around here),

I can only assume, having flown on my tails into a dark room to find a desk, parchment, quill, and red ink (this better not be blood), you want to open a line of communication.

Considering the night I’ve had, I’ll take a leap of faith and take this opportunity to make an impassioned plea for my release. I want to go home!

Comprendez-vous? Capisci? Kao jai mai? Is any of this getting through your thick horned skull? 

I’m done. I mean, seriously, I’m done. All I wanted to do tonight was have a nice hot meal. Do you know what I got in return for walking into a restaurant?

Your lunatic leprechaun nephew kidnapped me.

Let me underline that for you: A Leprechaun Freakin' Kidnapped Me!

I don't care what rules you follow down in hell, but this is not appropriate behavior. Despite what bodice-ripping romances might lead you to believe, forcibly magicking a woman into a literal "pot of gold" does not make for the basis of a good relationship. I don’t care if Shawn thinks he knows the future. I don’t care how hot he is. And I definitely don’t care if our fates are chain-linked together for all eternity. 

It was a stupid dumb-ass move.

And you know what? The pink BDSM-y dungeon makeover of the pot of gold doesn’t ingratiate the leprechaun to me in any way shape or form. I don’t care if he went through and read my book collection, which (by the way) was a huge and unacceptable breach of privacy, to come up with inspiration. One does not jump from “Hello, I’m your waiter” to “Let me show you this kinky dungeon.” It’s just not done.

And the sad thing is, those two instances above were the only sane part of my night. 

Which brings me to your son Luke.

He is f-n’ crazy—like needs to be sent to an insane asylum and go through lots of therapy crazy. Sexy only takes you so far in life, and, in my humble opinion, it’s time for him to make change. I get it—you wanted to test my loyalty to your nephew Shawn.

Well, here’s a newsflash. I didn’t reject Luke because I felt compelled to express my fidelity to a guy I barely know. I rejected Luke because he and his red snake-like eyes creeped me out.

And the nail in the coffin was his decision to link his departure with the appearance of a lion, tiger, and bear.

I just want make this clear. There are better ways to test faith than filling a room/dungeon/pot of gold with predatory animals. Not cool, Mr. String-puller. Very not cool.

But even then, even after I risked life and limb to confront your gifts, I stil thought you might have a destination in mind. I still thought you had a general idea about where this night is going, a vague and fleeting goal with regards to my fate—you know, a plot thread that might somehow tie these disparate events together. 

I was wrong. You’re not J.K. Rowlings or Tolkien. You fall into the same category as George R.R. Martin and the writers of Lost—a mastermind who seems to be mapping out my life based on a series of random prompts and plot twists that make absolutely no sense. 

Do you know how I came to this conclusion?

You turned the Leprechaun and I into Sonic and Tails. Seriously? Videogame characters? Really old and almost obsolete video game characters? Who gave you that idea, some stupid Internet forum? Did you all just randomly throw out ideas into a vacuum and decide to turn me in a 16-bit retro-gaming icon?

You did, didn’t you?

And where the hell did you send Shawn ? Why am I in this room alone with just a quill and parchment? Why am I writing this on an antiquated medium instead of a computer? Why are the words disappearing as I write them?

Hello?

Hello!!!!!

Please let me go home.

Please….

Beseechingly Yours,

~Nulli

Participants and posts:

orion_mk3 - http://nonexistentbooks.wordpress.com (link to post)
Sneaky Devil - http://fantasywriterwannabe.wordpress.com/ (link to post)
Anarchic Q - http://anarchicq.com/ (link to post)
Sixpence - http://orlawritesthings.com/ (link to post)
SamanthaLehane - http://samanthalehane.blogspot.com/ (link to post)
pyrosama - http://matrix-hole.blogspot.com/ (link to post)
Angyl78 - http://jelyzabeth.wordpress.com/ (link to post)
MsLaylaCakes - http://www.taraquan.com/ (You Are Here)
ishtar'sgate - http://chickenscratchbc.blogspot.ca/ (link to post)
meowzbark - http://www.lizzylessard.com/ (link to post)

Archive of Past Blog Chains

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Tara Quan

Globetrotter, lover of languages, and romance author, Tara Quan has an addiction for crafting tales with a pinch of spice and a smidgen of kink. Inspired by her travels, she enjoys tossing her kick-ass heroines and alpha males into exotic contemporary locales, fantasy worlds, and post-apocalyptic futures. Visit Tara at www.taraquan.com

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Nulli and the Leprechaun 5 - Sonic and Tails - Absolute Write Blog Chain - Jan 2014

Photo Credit: Flikr, Peter Taylor (c)

Photo Credit: Flikr, Peter Taylor (c)

This post is part of the January 2014 Blog Chain at Absolute Write. The rules are simple. There's a prompt. We all run with it. January's prompt is "Retro Gaming Icons."

To keep things interesting (and to give me an excuse to go completely crazy with this story), I decided a while back to integrate the blog chain with my Nulli and the Leprechaun web series. We're now on the fifth installment. And yes, I did play hooky the last couple of months.

While each episode of Nulli and the Leprechaun is self-contained, links to Part 1-4 of the series are below. 
#1 What the Leprechaun Said (AWBC March 2013)                
#2 Wrong Place, Right Time (AWBC May 2013)
#3 Child of the Devil (AWBC August 2013)
#4 Lions, Tigers and Bears–Oh My! (AWBC October 2013)

Previously, on Nulli and the Leprechaun...

She pointed at the shiny gold collars circling each animal's neck. "I think we need to take those off. [...] I have a feeling these are all trials." She wished she sounded more confident than she felt. "Luc appeared to tempt me–I had the perfect excuse to sleep with an extremely hot devil's child. I didn't. I passed test number 1."

Shawn didn't budge. "Let's pretend for a moment I believe you. What, pray tell, is the point of test number 2?"

She licked her lips. "Courage for me, and trust for you." Once the words passed her lips, she was overwhelmed by a sense of certainty. "Both form the foundation of a good relationship."

And now...

Shawn scratched the back of his bright blue ears. “Bollocks. Just when I thought things couldn’t get any weirder… I swear someone is coming up with random ways to torture us and that person has no idea where they’re heading.”

“This better not end up being some twisted version of limbo.” Nulli groused. “I still haven’t forgiven the writers of Lost for that. “

She dropped her gaze to her gloved hands -- paws, if she wanted to be more specific. Orange fur covered her entire body. Her disproportionate head weighed her down like a ton of bricks. With a sinking heart, she twisted her neck around and looked over her shoulder. A pair of white-tipped tails filled her vision. “Gold rings…right. This makes complete sense.”

Shawn’s black nose twitched. “It does?”

She rolled what felt like comically large eyes. Her field of vision seemed to have increased by a significant margin. “I’m guessing you’re not a Sega fan?”

Her spikey companion rolled his shoulders. “I’m an equal-opportunity gamer. All I have to do is snap my fingers for a console to appear.”

“Uh huh.” She lifted a claw and drew a circle in the air. “I have yet to witness this all-powerful magical side of yours. Want to give it another try?”

Shawn pinched his thumb and forefinger together. A flash of light accompanied the sound of sliding fabric. But when her vision cleared, she discovered their predicament hadn’t changed. It was more or less what she had expected.

Her leprechaun, however, seemed to be slow on the uptake. “Bloody hell! This is all your fault.”

Needing an outlet for her frustration, she stomped her red-booted foot over Shawn’s similarly-clad toes. With a yelp, he jumped. “What was that for?”

Nulli prided herself on being a level-headed woman. While she wasn’t a saint, she usually managed to keep her anger in check. But being blamed for something she didn’t do was one of her pet peeves.

She counted off her claws as she spoke. “You magicked me out of a restaurant before I could have dinner. Then you took me to a pink dungeon at the bottom of a pot of gold.” Marching forward, she jabbed her fist into his chest and pushed him back. “Then your creepy cousin Lucifer showed up, and left behind a lion, tiger and bear.” She closed all ten fingers around a handful of beige fur. “Now we’ve been transformed into retro gaming icons, and you have the audacity to say it’s somehow my fault?”

The leprechaun had a panicked look on his cartoonized face. “Umm … Nulli … sweetheart … your tails …”

There were perks to having a built-in helicopter. Having elevated a foot and a half off the ground, they now saw eye-to-eye. She narrowed her lids. “You should run, hedgehog-boy.”

Shawn raised his white paws in a gesture of surrender. “It wouldn’t do me much good in here. Why don’t we put our heads together and figure a way out? I think your ‘trials’ theory might have merit.”

She bared her fangs. “Really? What possible reason could the Devil have to turn us into…this?”

Shawn squinted. “I’ve got a theory.”

“Then start talking.”

He gulped. “A lesson on friendship? It’s one of the cornerstones of marriage and Sonic and Tails were best friends.”

She wrinkled her nose. “They were 16-bit videogame characters whose sole reason for existence was to pick up gold rings.”

He shook his head. “Didn’t you watch the cartoon? They fight evil red-needled hedgehogs together and save the world.”

She took a deep breath. “There’s a Sonic the Hedgehog cartoon?”

Shawn’s head bobbed up and down. “We can watch it together sometime.”

A low growl erupted from her throat. “Let me make one thing very clear. As soon as we get out of this, I never want to see you again.”

 “I know for a fact that we will spend eternity together,” he countered with utmost sincerity.

Feeling all strength drain out of her, Nulli unwound her tails and lowered herself to the floor. Dropping her padded bottom to the carpet, she hugged her knees into her chest. Tears misted her vision as Shawn’s blue shadow closed in.

For once, the leprechaun’s voice wasn’t laced with an undercurrent of self-assurance. “Please don’t cry.”

She blinked. The act sent two wet lines down her overly puffy cheeks. “Do you know what I wanted to do tonight?”

“Have a grand adventure and find your one true love?”

She glared at him. “I wanted to have nice dinner. This all happened because I wanted something better to eat than Lean Cuisine. For the sin of gluttony, I’m stuck in a pot of gold with Sonic the Hedgehog.” She looked up at the endless black above. “We’re never going to get out, are we?”

He patted her shoulder. “Don’t be silly. I would have brought you here regardless of your dining choice.”

She resisted the urge to slam her fist into his spikey face.

Perhaps realizing his mistake, Shawn added, “Besides, you’re the badass heroine who just stole gold rings from a lion, tiger, and bear. If anyone can figure out a solution to this…err…slight detour, it’s you.”

She wiped her cheek with the back of her glove. “Sure. That’s why I’m the sidekick and you’re the main character.”

His smile bared two rows of jagged teeth. “I always thought Tails was the cooler character. After all, all Sonic could do was run really fast. Tails can fly.”

Her brows snapped together. “What did you just say?”

“That Tails is the cooler character?”

“No...after that.” She craned her neck back and stood.  A delighted grin spread over her face. “I think I just discovered our way out.”

Participants and posts:

orion_mk3 - http://nonexistentbooks.wordpress.com (link to post)
Ralph Pines - http://ralfast.wordpress.com (link to post)
meowzbark - http://www.lizzylessard.com (link to post)
pyrosama - http://matrix-hole.blogspot.com/ (link to post)
Anarchic Q - http://anarchicq.com/ (link to post)
AndreF - http://lounge1506.blogspot.com/ (link to post)
MsLaylaCakes - http://www.taraquan.com/ (YOU ARE HERE)

Archive of Past Blog Chains

The Blog-O-Phone pt 2 - Christmas 250 Word Story Chain - Absolute Write

This post is part of the December 2013 Blog Chain at Absolute Write. This month, we're doing things a bit differently. It's a story chain (aka blog-o-phone), an each writer must add around 250 words to an ongoing holiday story. Where I last left Claire and Alan, she was about to dump a bucket of dye onto his head. Quite a bit has happened since then.
Previously, on Mossfollow Wood...
orion_mk3 - http://nonexistentbooks.wordpress.com (link to post)
Ralph Pines - http://ralfast.wordpress.com (link to post)
ishtar'sgate - http://chickenscratchbc.blogspot.ca (link to post)
Angyl78 - http://jelyzabeth.wordpress.com (link to post)
MsLaylaCakes (me) - The Blog-O-Phone part 1 (WHERE WE LEFT OFF)
meowzbark - http://www.lizzylessard.com/ (link to post)
orion_mk3 - http://nonexistentbooks.wordpress.com (link to post)
ishtar'sgate - http://chickenscratchbc.blogspot.ca (link to post)
Angyl78 - http://jelyzabeth.wordpress.com (link to post)

And now, on Mossfollow Wood Part. 10...

Knowing her grandfather, Claire would bet her Christmas bonus he had something to do with the dog’s appearance. “So what’s your plan? Are you going to hang out on this tree all night?”

Alan scowled. “Do you have a better idea?”

“As a matter of fact…” She attempted her most winsome smile.

He shook his head. “Absolutely not. Whatever scheme you’re concocting will be the death of me.”

Men could be so melodramatic. “You have the longest legs. If you could be so kind as to jump off and run…”

The dog growled and snapped its teeth, jumping high enough its drooling mouth grazed Alan’s foot. He sent her a withering look. “Yeah. I’ll get right on that, Princess. Right after you agree to cut down this tree and deliver it to my doorstep.”

Hanging onto her branch with one hand, she used the other to pat his cheek. “I didn’t know you suffered from mental illness. Do delusions run in your family?”

He caught her fingers. “Are you sure you want to keep baiting me? I’m going to lose my temper one of these days.”

A blush warmed her face. “What are you going to do, lawyer boy? Sue me?”

His grip tightened. Then he turned his head and pressed his lips into her gloved palm. Even though a layer of cloth separated them, a tendril of heat traveled up her arm. She swallowed.

Cal cleared his throat. “I’m still right here, you know? So is the damn dog.”

And thus I reached my 250 word limit. So where is this heading? I have no idea. The story continues at Absolute Write!

Archive of Past Blog Chains

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Tara Quan

Globetrotter, lover of languages, and romance author, Tara Quan has an addiction for crafting tales with a pinch of spice and a smidgen of kink. Inspired by her travels, she enjoys tossing her kick-ass heroines and alpha males into exotic contemporary locales, fantasy worlds, and post-apocalyptic futures. Visit Tara at www.taraquan.com

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